Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
