My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
