You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
