Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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