Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
