p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
