Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
