Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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