What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
