I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
