Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
