he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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