Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you didnt know i had herpes?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
