You really coming over, don't trick.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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