I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize