Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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