We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
