It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
