So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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