Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
