YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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