she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
