I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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