96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
this will be a night to untag.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
