How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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