Are we in a gay sports bar?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
