Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
