saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
