Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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