kristin has been a bad kristin
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
