I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
