get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
