Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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