He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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