Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
