are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
