Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
