I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
