Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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