did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize