my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
