Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
