been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
