i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
