NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
