i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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