I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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