it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
