Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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