I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize