can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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