I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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