dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
