we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
