And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
