is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
