What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
