I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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