I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
