she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
