He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
