Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
