Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
