I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
