The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
