Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
