between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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