i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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