i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
