Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This is the high leading the old right now
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
