Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
